so, since i am a mind reader& everything, i know exactly what YOU (oh yes, you) are thinking. besides the fact that you can't wait for turkey, and wanna do the dirty dirty you are thinking who are you?!?!?! who is this funny woman giving me all this AMAZING advice?! well. i have a confession to make. i am actually hotter than H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS. yes, yes i am. so instead of making you go to bed at night imagining megan fox, or whatever. i thought i'd share with ya'll what i really look like (: sweet dreams
so, maybe you tried all the ideas i suggested (tried& true my friends) on how to get pulled over, yet still managed to escape the fate of the law?? well if you're one of those lucky biotches, or maybe you just didn't try any of those ideas (and if that's true, f you. i worked hard testing all those out just for you)!! then here's another one(: props to my hero for the pic!
i'm honestly really upset that i didn't think of doing this when someone STOLE MY MIRROR! yeah rude. maybe i'll it anyway just for kicks. but if you do try this just remember...objects in mirror are not closer than they appear. except for yo wrinkles!
p.s.
i watched breaking dawn yesterday...OH LORD. check back asap for my thoughts on sparkly vampires& preggy robots...
not to toot my own horn but, *toot toot*! i'm pretty pro at getting pulled over. so if you're bored& feel like being a little dangerous here's some ways to get pulled over easy peasy (:
drive at strange hours of the day. between 2am and 5am should do. cops are bored& like to prey on innocent speeders trying to make curfew!
speed, speed, speed! 5 miles over isn't going to cut it. if you're not going 15 over, you ain't livin on the edge. literally. if you are speedy speedy and go around a corner, you risk putting your car on one of its edges.
don't speed. go 20 in a 60.
drive backwards. the whole drive. includes neighborhoods, freeways, ROUND-E-BOUTS!
pretend you're a dog and drive with your head out the window.
don't defrost your windows.
don't scrape ice off your windows.
follow #s 6& 7. but not 5. you'll have to guess where the road is, but it's fine.
break like a child in drivers ed.
eat while driving.
nap while driving.
pop a zit while driving.
call 911 and report that someone is driving while talking on the phone. give them your license plate number.
drive in the left lane.
drive the wrong way in a one way road.
drive the wrong way on the highway.
drive in the bike lane.
take #17 one step better and drive on the sidewalk.
get your head out of the gutter, i'm not talking about trashy movies (i'm saving that for my next post topic hehhe). i'm talking about trash AND movies. but that wouldn't be as good of an attention grabber (;
so, trash: garbage, something worthless and unwanted, smelly stuff, coffee grounds. it all looks somewhat like this ...
what i have learned recently is that, prepare yourself...people don't like garbage. especially people who can afford $12 breaky every day.
so i would just like to let everyone know, i don't like trash either! i don't like trashy girls (you know who i'm talking about...), trash the club (their logo is a nudie girl. weird!), trash the band (i actually have never heard their music, i'm just assuming it's trash), or trash as in the things you $12 breaky throw away!
that being said i would appreciate it if i was no longer gawked at when i play around in garbage bins. i'm not very tall and it's the only way i can get the trash in the darn bin! so please, don't honk at me, don't yell out 'ha ha wish i had my camera' or any other thing you think is funny. it isn't. and trust me, i would much rather be inside cooking your warm breakfast than frolicking with coffee grounds in the rain!
moving on, to...........movies!
i don't watch very many movies. i have the attention span of a puppy when it comes to deep, moving movies, i look like a raccoon and risk having an asthma attack when i watch sad movies, scary movies make me sleep with the late on for dayz, and people laugh at me when i rent kiddie movies. so i just avoid them in general!
but last night i watched a movie that must not be named with a person who must not be named. it was a comedy. it could have been decently funny, if not for this teeeeeeeenie weeeeeeeeenie little factor:
said companion laughed before every funny part and said, quote, "hahahahahahha omg hahahah this next part is sooooooo hahahahah fuhahahhanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". let me tell ya, it made it no longer funny.
FINALLY i'm done rambling. but not before i make a tribute to my 'husky'. you know who you are hunny buns! (;
but seriously. i was sitting here not writing my essay. watching Americas funniest home videos. eating ice cream. drinking diet coke. when i realized, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum i am a lucky fella. think about everything that i have, that you have. if you think about it, we are all lucky bitches just to be alive.
the person i would like to thank for this is not the big guy in the sky, but joe shmoe next door. and all the other troops, past and present.
jaaaaykay! but i do have a hard core headache! so my excuse for my absence...i don't have one. i got my wisdom teeth out, that was cool. not. i was dominated for a solid week! no bueno mis amigos.
uhm what else is new, whoreoweekend (halloween weekend, ya dig) just recently happened. i change my mind about how i feel about sluts on halloween about every two seconds. my thoughts; 1) most of the girls who dress up on halloween are sluts in their everyday life, they are HOES FO SHOS anyway, if they want to wear a thong and call it a costume, go for it. i already know you have like 7 stds sweetie, you're not fooling anyone (except that you're fooling AROUND with everyone heheh) 2) for normal people who like to wear clothes, this can be a fun way to gaaaaasp, show some boob or something. go for it! have fun! if this is the one night a year some people feel it's okay to wear a v-neck, then by golly you wear that v-neck! 3) i can't decide any other feelings i have about this 'holiday'
